What are your favorites? You know, the ones you hear over and over from people who aren’t professionals in the book business?
Some of mine:
This book will appeal to everyone. No, it won’t.
There are no comparable titles. There are almost 400,000 books published each year in the US alone. Every book has competition.
I’m an author, marketing is your problem. Only if you don’t care about money or your career. Yes, publishers do market the book, but they can’t market it nearly as well without the assistance of the author.
I don’t need any editing. Every word is perfect. Ahem.
This is public domain. I found it on the Internet. Things on the Net are still under copyright.
My book would have been a bestseller if only the publisher had printed enough copies. Very few publishers have difficulty feeding demand for a book. If there’s any demand to feed, that is.
You need to know someone or be a celebrity to get published. No one cares how good your book is. Acquiring editors are scouring every source they can find for the next unknown with a brilliant manuscript. The lucky few who find one have a huge career boost. Those who find more than one are made for life. (See my last post for ways to get published.)
Publishing with a well-known POD company is a good way to get “real publishers” to notice your book. There are no shortcuts in this industry.
Okay, your turn!
“I have a great idea for a book. You can write it and publish it, and we will split the profits.” Yeah, because writing, publishing and marketing are the easy parts, right?
If I had a nickel for every time I have heard this . . . I could retire from publishing. ;o)
The only one I have a quibble with is the next-to-last. In point of fact, while an unknown with a brilliant manuscript might get published if said book doesn’t sell enough to please the bean counters both author and editor will be in Coventry in very short order. That the company may have refused to designate a marketing budget adequate to do the book justice will be irrelevant.
Nor are editors the only ones to feel the ax, as the recent departure of the head of Random House shows.
When aspiring authors make the statement that only a celeb can get published, they’re referring to the major publishers–and they have reason to feel that way when they see huge advances being paid to famous people for books that sink faster than the Titanic. And are ghostwritten, to boot.
So, let’s be fair and admit that particular statement does have some basis in reality, and that issues of acquisition tend to occupy a somewhat unique place in the publishing industry where there is no one-size-fits-all.
I knoe my book needs editing, but my cousin is going to do it for free. She majored in English.
Marion, your list reminded me of this one that I use as a double-fold primer at book fairs and other places where I speak.
7 Editing Myths Waiting To Trip Up Your Campaign To Sell Your Work
Your submission to contest judges, agents, publishers, producers, and editors may never get read if your query or cover letter violates professional expectations. Here are seven editing misconceptions that can lead you astray:
1. Agents are a cantankerous lot. (Nope! In The Frugal Editor twenty of the nation’s best tell you their pet peeves and they do it in the best of spirits.)
2. If your English teacher told you something is OK, it is. (No! Language rules have changed since you were a Sophomore. There’s also a difference between style choices and rules.)
3. If a manuscript or query is grammar-perfect, you’ll be fine. (No! Lots of things that are grammatically correct will annoy publishers.)
4. Always use your Spell and Grammar Check. (No! Some suggest you don’t use it at all but The Frugal Editor will help you make this tool your partner instead of your enemy.)
5. It’s easy to avoid agent and editor scams. Just ask around. (The Frugal Editor gives you a complete list to help you avoid being taken.)
6. Your publisher will assign a top-flight editor. (Maybe, but don’t count on it. Besides you can be a better partner for an editor if you know about the process.)
7. Formatters and editors will take care of the hyphens, ellipses and all the other grungy little punctuation marks that English teachers avoided teaching because they didn’t know how to use them. (Chances are, you’ll catch even great formatters and editors in an error or two if you know your stuff!)
I love these numered lists. Time even ran an essay on how effective they are in one of their January (2008) issue.
Best,
Carolyn Howard-Johnson
http://www.howtodoitfrugally.com
My mother says it’s the best book she’s ever read and she’s read a lot of books.
1. Interior design and typesetting doesn’t matter. It’s what I’ve said that’s important. — Yeah, but if what you said is poorly presented, it will make a terrible impression and undermine your message.
2. A “fancy” cover design doesn’t matter! Everybody will want my book just as it is. — People _do_ judge books by their cover. Your cover is the key to catching people’s attention and if it’s poorly done, people won’t even look at your book and if they don’t look, they won’t buy — and your message won’t be read. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
I’m going to print 5,000 copies and get my unit cost down so I can make a lot more money on each book I sell.
I don’t need an ISBN.
I don’t need a distributor; I can sell the book directly and make a lot more money.
I don’t care what the interior and the cover look like. The content will sell the book.
Aunt Jean’s great endorsement will convince people to buy my book.
My picture belongs on the back cover.
How can I contact Oprah?
Here are some more “Eye Rollers”.
1. My book will:
Reform the school system, reform politics, reform healthcare, etc.
(take your pick) In the Trade, we call these “Save the world books”
You may have a new angle and an interesting plan but what are you going to do to get people to read it?
Who wants to read your rant?
Most save the world books are written by retired men with no experience in the field they have elected to reform.
2. Never say my book is perfect for Oprah.
a. “If I can just get on Oprah the book will be a best seller.”
What is the benefit to Oprah and her audience?
How will your book, your topic and your appearance help a large portion of Oprah’s audience?
Oprah’s mission is to help her audience not to help authors.
b. “I bet Oprah will want me on her show.”
Maybe in the audience
c. “I want to get onto Oprah”
You and a million other authors
d. “I’m going to be on Oprah!”
When people say that it immediately communicates that they’ve not done their homework.
It IS possible, but it’s a huge statistical stretch.
3. “What’s the latest hot topic? What’s selling these days?”
“I don’t want to waste my time writing something that won’t sell. I want to write the next bestseller. Just tell me what to write and I’ll do it.”
If there were a formula for bestsellers, we all would use it.
You can’t tell which book will break out of the pack.
You can’t tell why a books has gone to the top of the charts.
4. This book flew out of my brain once I got going. I wrote it in two days.
a. “…and my High School English teacher said I couldn’t write!”
Imagine that.
b. “This tells everything I know about this subject. I left nothing out.”
If you wrote everything you know in two days, you don’t know much about the subject.
c. “This was so good on the first draft, it didn’t even need editing or proofing. “
People want books with thought, research and good writing. If it is garbage, they won’t get past page 18.
It is nice to be excited but
Never brag about what you haven’t done.
You will make Eyes roll.
–Dan Poynter, http://ParaPublishing.com
101. I don’t care about making money. I just want to get my message out.
102 . Now that I have published my book, any good hints about selling it?
103, Doesn’t everyone set up their book for print using MSWord?
104. How do I keep people from making copies of my e-book?
105. I found this really cute font on the internet and I want to use it for my 300 page novel.
106. I can’t afford a garage full of books so I had to use (insert name of subsidy publisher.)
107. Where is a good internet site that tells me all I need to know about publishing?
108. I’ll only need one ISBN.
My favorite comment doesn’t come from a newbie, but an “oldbie.”
When people find out I’ve authored a few books, they often say, “I’m going to write a book someday.” The words aren’t off their lips before a quote from Gene Fowler (the oldbie) comes to mind. Fowler said, “Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”
All too true, unfortunately.
And no amount of telling people that their book would be of marginal interest to the universe works for some. Optimism is good. But a little prgamatism is helpful.
Here are my additions:
* Oprah will love it!
Um, no. Oprah will not. She only deals with books from the very big publishers. This for a very good reason: can you afford to print 100,000+ copies? Do you have the distribution to get the book into buyers’ hands?
* I’ll get the book into bookstores across the country!
Bookstores don’t buy books. They rent them on the off-chance they can be sold. What are you – the author – doing to drive customers into bookstores? And why?
* Barnes & Noble will buy thousands.
See above. Something called returns makes this a very frightening misconception.
I have more, but I’m getting depressed….
A good post as always, Marion!
JCS
I just finished writing it in August – will it be out in time for Christmas? (Christmas of NEXT year MAYBE!)
Two more, if I may:
“But it really happened that way.”
“It’s based on my life. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve been through. Everyone says I should write a book and it would be a bestseller.”
“I’ll give you the idea and story and you write it and we’ll split the profits.”
Well, okay, that was three. I got carried away.
“My book doesn’t need editing. I had an editor once, and all she did was change a few words around.”
“I really like everything about the cover concepts you presented. Here’s what we need to do next…”
“I LOVE the back cover copy you wrote. Can we change it around some?”
“We’re going to ask several people to send cover concepts, and then we’ll pay the person who did the best job.”
“But I WANT the text to be set in 16 point with 2 inch margins so it’s easy to read.”
“My book doesn’t need to be proofread. It was already edited.”
“I understand that curly quotes are correct, but I think straight quotes look more modern and MY readers will understand.”
“I know a title should be short, but MY book is different, and people won’t understand my topic unless I’m very specific.”
“I really need to use caps, underlines, boldface, AND italics in my text [on every other line] otherwise the reader won’t understand what I’m saying.”
And my all-time favorite:
“I’d do the job myself, but I don’t know how. This should be a simple job for someone who knows what they are doing.”
One I’ve been dealing with recently:
Why are there more/fewer pages in the book than in my original MS Word file? I even changed the margins to make it the right size! — I use a different font and a different type size and a different leading (line spacing) than what you used. I don’t just take what you’ve done and put it into book form, I choose fonts and sizes and leadings that work better for books than for manuscripts to make the book more readable for your audience.
you people are funny.
you sit here and laugh at newbie authors
because of their unrealistic expectations,
and then you egg them on elsewhere by
telling them to start their own company,
so you can sell them your services…
-bowerbird
I’m sorry that you found this, and many of the things the publishing community has said to you elsewhere, offensive. All humor aside, the reason I finally posted this, is that I thought some of the more naive newbies might take warning from it, and re-evaluate their hopes before their dreams and bank account were damaged beyond repair.
It’s very rare for any experienced publishing pro to encourage newbies to expect any of the things above. And there are many ethical professionals in the publishing community who routinely turn down would-be clients when the project is just not going to go where the client wants it to go.
And yes, most of the manuscripts in the world shouldn’t be read by anyone unrelated to the author. I choose to speak and write for the authors of the ones that are ready for primetime, and for the publishers who choose to work outside the boundaries of one of the tiny handful of large publishers. I happen to think that this is where the intersection of individual taste, energy and professionalism can change the world.
Coming in late, but:
I don’t want to sell my book on Amazon. They want to much money. I’ll just sell it on my website.
Hey, if all you guys keep quoting me, I’m gonna sue you for plagiarism!
My favourite is: “This story was previously published in x but I hold all rights.”
No.You.Don’t!
Excellent.. is it alright if I link to this post from my site?
Links to my posts are always nice. Unfortunately, link requests are another frequent technique that spam bots use to get their first comment approved. Since some bloggers let comments go through after the first comment is approved, this gives them one or two clear shots at posting comment spam.
This blog doesn’t work that way. I look at every comment. But if your blog does, be forewarned.
That makes sense to me but does this?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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